Archives for the month of: February, 2014

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It’s so easy to get caught up in life and forget the simplest things. Stop and take a moment…
Every morning when I wait for the bus, I hope that it comes during a quiet moment. I live on a “Main Street” and there is always traffic. I used to panic about holding people up as I loaded my 3 children onto the bus safely.
My boys, in case you’re new to the blog, have Cerebral Palsy and a developmental disability. They learned to walk a little over a year ago (they’ll be 6 next week), and they were granted bus privilege 3 months ago. Of course, living in Canada, means they have a daily workout to climb onto the bus in all I their snow gear!! As easy as it would be for me to carry them onto the bus, it’s important for them to maintain their independence and make effort with this task.
This process usually only takes a few minutes but some days we have dozens of cars backed up either way.
One day I started to give a wave in every direction, as a simple thanks (I discovered recently that my husband does the same thing!)
My purpose for this is to hope that those people who may be grumbling about their ride to work being delayed, will give a small smile, knowing that I appreciate their patience. I wish I could stand at the end of my driveway with a sign “If you only knew what a great accomplishment this is, it would melt your heart.”
By living with gratitude for the small things, life feels lighter.
I think the more people and things we are grateful for, the more people feel appreciated, even for the small things, like waiting for a family waiting to get on the school bus…

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Imagine your child coming home, full of excitement, waving a Student of the Month certificate! Telling you how, in front of the school, out of their ENTIRE class, THEY were chosen as the Student of the Month! For reasons that no other student held, the teacher thought THEY possessed the qualities of that honourary title.
The difference between that experience and mine is that I live it without words. I open up my child’s backpack and find the certificate. I can only guess as to why he received it. I piece together information from my daughter and what I know about my son and the teacher.
We often take for granted, as parents that our children can talk. Some days, I wish my daughter would stop! But the fact is, when your child can’t tell you his basic wants or needs, it’s heartbreaking.
The boys are going to be 6 next week, and they have some key words in their arsenal. In total they probably have 50 words each. Along with their regular “Mumma up” “eat” “deenk”(drink) they have a handful of signs like hungry, all done and stop. We work very hard at improving their communication, and we completely whole-heartedly believe that the boys will be effective communicators, but the path to get there is stressful.
I wonder everyday what is going on in their heads. Do they have any clue?
Then, simple things occur. (I always talk to them as if they are fabulous communicators.) I tell Dean to go get a brush, while I dress his brother. A brush! Most obscure, random item, and he goes trotting into the bathroom and brings one back!!! I nearly cried! HE HAS A CLUE!!
We might be living in a silent picture show some days, but I know those boys have the sound turned on.

As we go through life we morph into who we are meant to be.
We are the child our parents want us to be, we are the rebellious teen who are parents DON’T want us to be, we are the geek, the popular girl, we are academic, sporty. For the first 20 odd years we try to figure out who we are.
Add a few more events and challenges, and some of us end up as mothers.
Then, suddenly the person who you thought you were is once again challenged!
Becoming a mother creates this vortex of insecurities and worries, and changes how we act within our world, because now we’re not existing just for ourselves, but for our families.
I believe all my mommy friends will agree that we have those moments where we sit and scratch our heads and wonder what happened to the person we thought we knew, and wonder how we can be a new version of our old selves.
I think the important piece to consider is how to give ourselves the time to BE ourselves. To remember to do things for ourselves, things we enjoy, things to pamper ourselves. To BE our new mommy selves, we have to accept and LOVE our new lives and the huge responsibilities we carry, but also maintain enough of our OWN selves – be it old or new. To be happy with it all, we have to start with ourselves.
So ladies, book an appointment for a new hairstyle, call an old friend, find a new hobby (blogging is fun!), but remember to find the balance of old and new, just for YOU.
How are you balancing YOU?

I distinctly remember the day we sat with the pediatric neurologist. The boys were around 7 months, the Doctor examined them head to toe, asked a LOT of questions, and sat quietly. He spoke in a very quiet voice and said ” I don’t know what to say.” He explained that he wasn’t sure of anything, he called them floppy babies, he basically said he wasn’t sure if they would ever sit, talk, walk or run. We sat numb. We agreed that in the future we would look at getting an MRI. The future MRI told us in fact it was damage and they would fall under the umbrella of Cerebral Palsy.
We never spoke it too each other, but vowed never said never.
When therapists asked us what our goals were, we asked what was next in developmental sequence? Walking was never NOT an option. When they asked us if we believed if they would walk, talk and run, we said “ABSOLUTELY! ”
Now that they’re RUNNING through our house I have bigger dreams. (Maybe another blog post?)
If we don’t dream for our kids, what will we look forward to? We know, and always have known, it will take soooooo much longer, but have every confidence they will do everything we dream for them!
If you believe it, you can achieve it.
We bring the boys back to that Doctor, not to prove him wrong, but to prove us right.
We may not have the easiest road to travel, but we’re in four wheel drive baby!

Quick milestone facts for the boys: rolled at 7 months, sat at 17 months, crawled at 22 months, stood independently at 4 (ish) years, and walked independently at 4 yrs and a half…
They have an interesting vocabulary, consisting of about 50 words, say random phrases, and can learn a tune very quickly!

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